A very personal milestone
💜 I hit a very personal milestone last week 💜
On Monday, I delivered a whole day CPD workshop to a Language department.
I did not write a script.
Admitedly, I've been working with the team for two years so I know them, where they are, where they want to be and what we need to do together to get there. I have built a strong rapport of trust and collaboration with them. But still, I planned my day, prepared my presentation, rehearsed what I wanted us to achieve and gave myself the opportunity (permission?) to deliver without holding on to a script. Word for word. A seemingly impossible task for myself.
I decided to trust myself. Trusted that I could deliver, improvise, adjust, complement without the need to check my notes. Be there in the moment and enjoy myself rather than having the need to hold on to control. And it went very well. Smooth, authentic, impactful.
Up until 2 years ago, if I even had to make an announcement to the staff at the whole school briefing, I felt sick at the thought of it, rehearse over and over again, practise breathing techniques and fight the "after" thoughts. And I mean just a simple: “letting you know we have speaking exams going on in the MFL block today…” kind of quick, simple message.
I never wanted to do presentations, I wanted to quietly work with departments or individuals and do some coaching. Be behind the scenes, Build a bond, share, collaborate, have impact. Introvert and HSP life!
And then two years ago, I got a message from Crista Hazell. Crista invited me to present a whole webinar by myself for Linguascope.
She said: "I think you'd be ace!" (How very Crista)
I was on my way to Cornwall for a wedding. The whole weekend, I repeated to myself: "Crista Hazell thinks I'd be ace! She thinks I'd be ACE"in disbelief!
How terrifying. No way! But I had to say yes and thought I'd figure it all out later, closer to the date. A miracle would happen in my head for sure!
I watched countless TedTalks, bought audiobooks, watched videos to build my confidence. So many conversations with myself in my head. So many: “Mummy, are you talking to yourself again?’ comments from my daughter noticing me mumbling to myself. So many rehearsals walking around in the kitchen, holding my script. So much time managing my heartbeat every time I even thought about the webinar… So many stomach aches.
I've since delivered three webinars for Linguascope and so many more presentations. Spoke at The Language Show, The Language World, the ALL A-Level conference in Sheffield and the Solent Language Network conference this week. I've launched my own online workshops for teachers, done online consultations, faculty reviews and department CPDs, launched this website (Still need to work on the mobile version, aha)
Crista has been championing me all the way, this whole time and I am so grateful for her, her warmth, her generosity and inspiring mind and these simple words. I think you'd be ace. I didn't think I'd be ace, i didn't know I could do it. i didn't know I could enjoy it!
It has been an incredible two years. I got to do it. I got the absolute priviledge to focus on that only while having a little break from life in school.
So much fulfilment. So much pride. A rollercoaster of emotions for sure.
Presenters make it look easy and we don’t talk enough about how much effort it is to present, to plan, gather your thoughts, simplify, structure, create impact with your thoughts and language, rehearse, hold the train of thoughts throughout the presentation and be present in the moment, react to your audience, adapt to the moment, make eye contact. I’m still learning to manage all that. I’ll still need to check my notes, I’ll still get lost in my train of thoughts, I’ll still hesitate and fight brain fog, I’m sure. But I’ve also learnt to appreciate even more the effort of colleagues presenting, even if they make it look easy and sometimes flawless!
There's still so much work to be done to get to a smooth presenting style and avoid any "after thoughts". But my inner voice is nicer! I’m getting there. I’m accepting flaws and focusing on the person I could be in 10 years! I’m paving the way! I don’t have to be perfect, amazing, flawless right now. I just want to be there, collaborate, be part of something, continue to grow, surprise myself.
I am now so excited to start again in a new school from September, be part of a team, get to work with students again, take the lead for KS5, (Capitaine Massé will be back! ) be part of something bigger than my own presentations but continue to grow as a presenter, coach, mentor alongside my teaching.
I’m also joining the team at Keynote Educational and will be delivering whole day CPD courses for GCSE and A-Level French, always with a minimalist approach!
As I’m getting ready for the summer break, and for a new chapter from September, I can’t help but think about the last two years, all the work, all the bold moves, the personal challenges, the things I’ve overcome, starting with my inner voice, the “just do it and think after” moments or as I prefer to say:
Throw your heart in front of you and run ahead to catch it!
I’m also thinking about the beautiful impact simple words can have on someone and all the possibilities that can occur when someone believes in you, when you feel that someone is on your side, no matter what. What a powerful reflection as I’m about to step back into the classroom and have the chance again to champion so many young people.
All my gratitude to Crista. Thank you for getting me out of my shell! (That’s the article I should have written in the Languages Today magazine!) And to all of you collaborating with your thoughts, your feedback, your compliments, your cheers, showing up and sending words of encouragements.
From a teacher’s perspective, I’m also reflecting on our role with our students, the impact we can have when we poke them a little bit, when we dare to get them out of their shell, the value in getting them out of their comfort zone, coach them, challenge them.
Daring is believing.
Now there's only one thing left before I can have a break:
🇫🇷 🏆 🇫🇷 Allez, les Bleus, allez! 🇫🇷 🏆 🇫🇷
